As somebody who has a large following, I have to accept that I leave myself open to negative comments & people. Unfortunately, as sad as it may be, it comes with the territory.
Instagram is & has been my favourite platform for a few years now, mainly for it’s friendly community who lift & empower individuals as well as so many wonderful small businesses that have found their feet through the support of others. I certainly wouldn’t be where I am now without it & for that I will always be thankful.
I’ve been seeing things across Instagram lately, within the community that used to surround me in such a lovely warm cocoon of love. We’d all encourage, support & show kindness to one another, but not in a click way as one may expect, but one where anybody is welcome to join us.
However, things have changed recently & I can’t quite put my finger on it.
Women turning against other women. Mothers turning against mothers. Hate after hate after hate.
Over the past couple of years I could probably have counted the number of mean/negative comments I had on one hand. The past few months? I would say on average 5 a week ranging from insulting my parenting to personal attacks.
As a fairly confident person, I usually take these with a pinch of salt. But over the past few days whilst I’ve been spending some lovely time in Paris with my husband (our first trip away just us two since having children 4 years ago) I received 4 messages, then one again today as we got home on what was a beautiful moment on Instagram stories of my daughter running over to my husband upon our return home.
It’s shocking & quite frankly, I’m feeling trodden down.
Constructive criticism is fair enough & I will happily take that on board but being horrible for the sake of being horrible or saying things which quite frankly has nothing to do with you or impact on your life is just damn right rude.
I have to say that for every negative comment I get, I probably get a few hundred positives. But unfortunately they aren’t the ones that stay with us or make an impact on us quite like the bad ones…which is sad but unfortunately it’s human nature to want to be liked & to not like criticism.
I’ve been seeing so many of the accounts I love under the same fire too with ‘trolling’ messages over quite frankly the most ridiculous things. They are just words at the end of the day, but words can & do hurt.
In my opinion, I just see no need at all in purposefully going out of your way to upset or hurt somebody. It is completely & utterly beyond me. Why would anyone ever see the need to attack somebody that they don’t actually know (& only know what they choose to show on social media…nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors or what battles they are facing outside of the walls of Instagram)? If an account I followed posted something that I really didn’t agree with or offended me that much then I’d quite simply click the unfollow button & carry on about my everyday life. No harm done.
Unfortunately though, this is the new age world of the world wide web that we live in & it’s all too easy to hide behind a keyboard.
It’s all too easy to get unbalanced from that. To become too removed from the ‘real world’ so that we can’t see that our comments are going to a real person with real feelings, or on the opposite side become too involved so that we feel we know that person even if we haven’t met them & that we have the right to make comments on their actions or opinions.
We’ve lost all human compassion.
So, I’m going to be on a mission this evening to spread love across the Instagram community & I want you all to join forces with me.
I challenge you to like/comment on 10 of the accounts you’ve followed for a while & love, telling them just that; how much you love them. I then want you to find 10 accounts you don’t follow but admire, you can obviously choose to follow them but also comment on a couple of posts with positivity & warmth. Don’t expect anything in return but just spread the power of positivity around.
Also if you fancy posting a picture of a lit candle (everyone loves a good candle…) with #sharethelove to light someone else’s with the above quotes then go for it!
Love,
Well said and what a great, positive response. Keep sharing your lovely life, thoughts, frills and spills and do whatever makes you happy xxx
The one thing I notice about Some Instagram accounts I follow is that I comment nice things and positive things and get no reply. But people who post horrible things get a reply and hence recognition which always baffles me why give nasty people the time of day. When I comment on any of your posts you always send a reply. I know that can be difficult if you get 100s of comments so don’t expect a reply all the time. But it does mean a lot to get a Thankyou for a nice comment. So I’m with you and will continue to give positive & nice replies when I can.
One word Charlotte, Jealousy. You have a beautiful home and beautiful family!
Ellie (@everythingellie)
Absolutely genius…..LOVE it xxxx
I absolutely love this idea!!! So sorry to see your getting these comments. Keep up your fab work! And tell Carol I said Hi x
Paris looked amazing x
Catherine
@daintydressdiaries
I agree that there seems to be a lot of hate and negativity about, people who just seem to search for happy, positive accounts to throw their venom at. Most happy accounts seem to be made by empathic souls too, who will feel their horrible words very deeply too. I applaud all these positive accounts for being brave enough to share their lives, I would be crushed permanently to read personal negative attacks so while being part of the instagram family I keep my posts general trying to spread positivity while not having the courage to leave myself open to attack from trolls so I applaud your courage and I love you and many other pages. Keep it up x.
It seems the veil of anonymity gives some people the mistaken belief that they can judge or criticise others. When I see these spiteful, jealous, or just plain mean comments I feel sorry for the person I think it says much more about their state of mind, their attitude and where they’re coming from. And totally agree with you, take back your power, share the love and remember that’s what the delete/remove/unfriend/block button is for! x
This made me a little sad but also happy at the same time knowing that there are people like yourself that are positive enough to focus on the bright side of life and not let the down sides take control. This is a lovely idea. I have only just come across your blog and beautiful Insta account but will be following with a smile x ? ❤
Jo
@i_heart_design
Well done to you Charlotte for speaking up! People like this are just envious and jealous of what you have achieved. Personally, I adore your page. You are an inspiration!
I have this conversation with my son a lot, as he gets bullied at school. What we always remind ourselves, is that these people are not happy people and we would still rather be on the receiving end than to be one of those bitter people who dishes it out. We’d rather be us than be them. And for every 1 mean person, there are 5 people who ask you if you are ok. Concentrate on them. Peace. x
Tbh I think Instagram stories is the reason for this. I have gone off so many accounts I used to love since they started stories. I mainly find the stories to be a constant moan about their own 1st world problems and a daily dose of narcissism. It can be very off putting.
X